The elitist people in a community make me not want to associate with that community. There are thin people who hate fat people, thin people who hate thin people,fat people who hate fat people, fat people who hate thin people. There are people who just hate people.
People expect everyone to represent them, speak for them…and when they do they praise it. When a person strays from what’s expected of them, people demonize and throw words around like “hate”.
Life is about choices. I don’t spend my time hating people I don’t know or expecting others to speak for me. It’s hard to expect patience and love and acceptance when you don’t GIVE IT. Being defensive, elitist and angry will never help us talk about real issues or have legitimate discussions.
It irks me that in this community if a person gains weight and says he/she did it because now they “love and care” for their body…people are like, HUZZAH! YEAH! YOU ARE SO EMPOWERED!
If a person loses weight (and, no, losing weight isn’t always about starving yourself, depriving yourself of the things you want, or torturing yourself out of hatred for the body you have) the motive HAS to be that said person wants to be thin to be loved..or can’t be body positive because they are changing their body.
DO YOU SEE THE INHERENT FLAW?
Body positivity isn’t about gaining or losing, being big or small. Body positivity is about a BODY, not a size. Being positive about that body isn’t a stagnant thing. Your choices and your feelings evolve, grow, change. Not all changes come from a place of fear or hate. My body isn’t your business up until the point you make your body mine.
Also, and this is something I really need to get off my chest, I have been a big girl all of my life. I will never get angry for someone who HASN’T been trying to point out how horrible it is to demonize me or bully me FOR MY SIZE. I’m not gay but I believe absolutely that regardless of sexual orientation a person should have full rights and marriage equality. I would HOPE (and I say hope because I know there are people in the gay community who HATE straight people who do this) that me promoting something I believe, fighting for something I feel is a right wouldn’t immediately be pushed aside because I am not apart of that community. Maybe it doesn’t hold as much water unless I am. But, I don’t feel like alienating people who want to HELP me or give me LOVE because they support me is the way to do myself any justice.
So, before I get off of my soapbox…stop tearing things down. Build things up. Encourage. Stop hating. Because at a certain point you run out of things and people to hate and you’re left with yourself.